April 2011
Dad Pun of the Day
Watching a documentary about the Pope’s body guards with my dad:
Dad: “So you know how the President has the Secret Service…”
Me: “yes….? O_o”
Dad: “So you know what the Pope’s guards are called right?”
Me: “no……? o_O”
Dad: “The Sacred Service”
Me: *face-palm*
The Dog & The Leopard
================
A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his
faithful pet dog along for company. One day the dog starts
chasing butterflies and before long he discovers that he is
lost. So, wandering about he notices a leopard heading rapidly
in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch.
The dog thinks, "Boy, I'm in deep doo doo now."
Then he noticed some bones...
Immaturity
What does it take to make them understand?
I don’t like causing pain with this hand.
Why must everything come down to hate,
No one rightly deserves this fate.
But what is done is done
And no one has won
We all must move on
And away from this con.
tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INANIMATE OBJECT?
lmao
You do know that that was your texttone on my phone for like forever right? hahaha
noonemanshouldhaveallthatbacon:
I don’t remember when everyone here decided that my theme song was “Paper Planes” by MIA but I’m cool with that
